To All It May Concern,
Some of you may know, and for those who do not the situation is completely outlined in my blog post before this one, for the past month I have been embroiled in a situation that has placed my future unnecessarily in limbo. An incident that occurred on July, 9th, 2010 has stretched out and keeps itself going all the way to today.
First of all, to all those that have supported, looked out, been concerned, or in anyway showed you appreciation for the kid and what he has done, I want to thank you.
To all those who have felt the kindness of my heart in the past, but as the shadows crept up, ran like rats, hid likes snakes, or have basically refused to support myself and getting my support in the past, I say shame on you (and you know who you are.)
Either way if you think I am talking about you I probably am. I’m three days away from a month long fast designed to cleanse my soul, so I’m get all the evil out right now, for those who feed on such things to feast before the famine. Its not until the ft is cut off and your hurt starts to skip a beat that you realize that there where leeches all over you.
Whatever happened on the night in question, (whether you believe me or not) one thing that can not be denied is what I have given of myself to Hampton University. The home by the sea that for some reason is trying to vomit me out. I’ve worked with some impressive students and some that where not so impressive. I have given my all to causes that a birthed, causes that I cared about, and causes that where not even my own. I am a person that values loyalty, respect, and trust above all else. I did the things that others did not want and where not willing to do. Was I or am I a saint, by no means (not even a bit close). I’ve hurt people been arrogant/stubborn more times then I can remember. I (then and now) refused to be anyone else except me.
But whatever my faults, whatever you may think of me, if you know me you know how hard I work even when I didn’t have to. You know how hard I work for other people after my work at the school but me in a position where I was pretty secure in my own position. I’m a Sigma (most of you know me only as a Sigma) and what we do is we help people. That is what I did and have tried to do.
The problem with helping people at Hampton University is that the school, its officials, and certain people in the Administration will do anything to maintain control. Students are not the motivation and Hampton, preserving Hampton (for better or for worse) is the major motivation at Hampton University. Whatever that means and at whatever cost. Page 5, the campus shooting, and the entire way this past summer has progressed are events that happened when I was here that prove that. When faced with a choice between doing what is right by the students and doing what is right by the legacy of Hampton, the legacy wins every time. It’s a attitude that leaves no incident under managed, means no student, professor, or employee is not expendable at anytime. It’s a policy based in fantasy and illusion not reality.
When they are people that stand up to this attitude of control, people that try and fight for the common student at Hampton University like in a page 5 the reaction of the immune system at the home by the sea is to reject and fight them like a plague, even if it means attacking its own.
For three years I gave my life, my sweat and tears to trying to make Hampton a better place. To strike a balance between those that cared about Hampton and those that cared about the people at Hampton. I would have done anything to protect Hampton even from itself, even from itself. Imagine my surprise when I realized it would not to the same for me.
So now it seems that this place that I have tried so hard to make better seems to think having me attend their will make it worse. Now it seems that because of the desires and decisions of one woman, all the work I have given to Hampton University will mean nothing. Now it seems that the immune system for the home by the sea has identified me as some sort of virus.
One thing is for sure do, the world is and will always will be bigger that one HBCU in southern VA with a population of 5,000 people. My high school had 5,000 people they never saw a great issue with me. My region of my fraternity has about the same, and they elected me. No. I refuse to sit here today and act like all knowing Hampton ( or one person at Hampton that has been given unchecked power to do whatever she wants) can judge me.
Only God can judge me,
and he knows my heart.
Let the students I helped over my three years judge me or the lives a touched. Let my work judge me and the countless hours of service to the University judge me. No, if the immune system does not want me it has more to do with it than me.
The reason I am making this so public, the reason I am putting all this out there is because I’m angry (of course) but also because win or lose this battle the war between students who seek an environment to learn and live and a school that seeks to control at all cost will still be going on. Whether I win or lose this battle, there seems to be no way to win the battle for the future.
On this old plantation in VA that used to be called little Scotland, the only ones that win are the slave owners, the overseers, and the house negros that will gladly sell their souls for the approval of the latter and former. The fields Negro, the masses, get ignored. They get marginalized, until they dare to get out of line, dare to challenge control, then the immune system begins to act.
Should I be excreted from the “body”, bare this in mind. I know where the shadows are where the students’ money is actually going, why certain money just seems to disappear, who really does what, why so many people seem to know nothing, and others with all the answers happen to answer to no one. All of this I’ve learned by working for the body, with in the body, helping it heal itself, now it seems the body that is my home by the sea would rather be in full control of itself then help itself. It would rather be defend a process than a cause. It would rather be right then do the right thing, all that is regrettable, but either way life will move on.
I do not know what will happen over the next few weeks as this process that gone on for a month draws to a close. I would hope that either way, the school that I have given free labor to for the past three years would at the very least if its not going to do the right thing put me in a position to finish my education at another slave plantation (or school) this Fall. So far, it does not even seem like it is willing to do that.
What I do know, what I have learned, is watch who you trust. As soon as they use you for what they want, as soon as the vampires are not thirsty, as soon as the leeches are full…….that is when the immune system starts to work…that is when control becomes the most important thing again.
